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Friday, October 22, 2010

Autumn

Ever needed a horror film so terrifying, you would have nightmares for the rest of your life?
Well Autumn is defiantly the movie for you. Oh no, the movie it's self couldn't scare my 6 year niece, it's everything else that is frighting.
The plot line. Scene continuity. Carma work. Lighting. Logic. Story flow. Acting.

Never in my life have I seen a B movie manage to screw all of that up at once. Well, they defiantly gotten the scary clown part right.
Right off the bat, they introduce the main set of characters, doing things we could care less about, and switching in between each one using odd wipe effects.
Than, the big-bad virus strikes, and I am struck dumb by one of the worse sound effect - scene relationships in history.
After that we cut between each character, giving them enough screen time, and cutting to the next, that we have absolutely no clue what is happening.
Next we are treated to the big dramatic scene, which shows all the destruction ... a school bus, with a couple cars next to it, the cars looking like they dropped a wrecking ball on them for "damage" effects.
Some more disjointed shots of the main character set follows, nothing is really explained.

Hay what do you know, a radio is turned on, for no explained reason, and our primary characters, and throw always are introduced ... sort of. There is some shots of folks, some more shots of folks "grieving", the introduction of the scariest thing in the movie, the clown, more shots of folks moping. I was starting to fall asleep at this point in time.
Some time later there is a big argument about just about everything. The folks were raising their voices, yelling and screaming at points over such points as, getting food, finding safe place to stay, finding drinking water. There was the camp that wanted to do absolutely nothing, and the camp that wanted to relocate. Take a wild guess which gets killed later off camera?

Oh ya, in the middle of all this, the corpses start to come back alive, giving rise to the most harmless zombies I've ever seen in a movie.

Now were was I? ... Group B split off, and go searching for a secluded house, group A is promptly forgotten about.
Now we have 3 main characters.
A few shots they show of them driving around show structures in the background, yet the characters in the driving shots claim they are lost, and see nothing around.
Fun.
They find the house, and the last owner ... dead of course ... they try to drag him outside. Guy A wants to bury him, older guy B doesn't want to, and promptly drops the corps, storming off.

I'd like to point out at this point in time, the lighting gets really horrible. There are entire scenes I couldn't see anything that was going on.

There are some more pointless dialog, they run to town and pick up more supplies, finding out the zombies are getting more aggressive, but they are still harmless. ( The main characters are shown several times in the movie, to simply walk threw herds of the undead with out getting touched ).

I'd like to point out at this point in time, day and night start getting mixed up in the windows, some driving shots, and the occasional background.

They get back from their trip, guy A seems to be withdrawn. Hay what do you know, it starts to snow, and the woman-who-is-always-worried-about-diseases comments that the cold weather would freeze the zombies until spring. Don't worry, this plot point hits a brick wall.

I'd like to point out, from here on out, there are major continuity problems of shots that have snow on the ground, and shots that do not. Not to mention the zombies some how keep the roads plowed.

Ok, we have some useless dialog, some pointless scenes, and they find a gun. Guy A shoots a zombie, which suddenly puts on super human speed, and strength, tackling him. They decide noise makes them more aggressive ... lets see ... some folks that split off earlier are shown in a drug induced coma, and they show the most awesome scene ever to come out of a zombie movie ... a zombie rave!
The group decides to build a strong impenetrable zombie proof wall out of ... snow fencing ... some shots you could tell the actors were being careful not to accidentally knock over the fence.
Me personally, I'd have walked down the fence line, calmly shooting each zombie in the head as I passed. The gun was dropped in the snow when the zombie attacked, and forgotten about.

... more useless crap. Some action scenes are thrown in, but I can't tell .... they lead up to what looks it would be an action scene, and than shake the camera around, showing the end result OR they zoom in really close, so I'm looking at parts someone's face.

They now decide they need more supplies and new cars, so back to town. Guy A picks the safest thing in the world to drive in the snow ... a motorcycle .... bla bla bla ... more boring and senseless scenes ... the zombies kill their first victim, a puppy ( only dog shown in the movie and they never shown the druggies getting killed, only implied it ) .. more pointless dribble ... a bad green screen effect .... bla bla bla ... Guy A lets the zombies kill him ( their second victim )

This movie has no redeemable characteristics about it. There were a couple shots with really good looking zombies, but that is the extent of it.

Autumn was released this year ( 2010 ). I found it in Wal Mart's $5 movie bin. Me being a sucker for zombie movies I picked it up, not thinking to could be that bad.
Boy was I wrong. I spent $4.99 too much!

I'm Reviewer Rick, have a great day !

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